This post was originally written in 2013 and is as relevant now as it was then. It still stands now that Jonathan is starting at St. Andrew’s School in Rhode Island, one step closer to university. That low-pressure area over Los Angeles County sucking – it’s USC. Don’t go there.
Jonathan, I know you are only eight, but we need to talk. Your Dad, my cousin, “Jeff,” seems to think that you are headed to USC. Your clips are impressive. I couldn’t drill a 30-yard field goal without my right hamstring exploding. Judging from the YouTube below you are on your way to a Division I program south of the border and a long NFL or CFL career.
There’s just one thing – whatever you do, you can never, ever play for the University of Southern California.
University of Santa Clara
the Original (OG) USC
As this pencil shows (pencils are things used today to dig dirt clogs out of cleats – pencils used to be popular for things like figuring out math problems and writing letters), there is only one “USC” – the University of Santa Clara, founded in 1851. A few years ago, Santa Clara bowed to SoCal pressure to reverse its initials from USC to SCU. This was a day of shame which some will never forget nor forgive. A double-secret subcommittee, chaired by Leon Panetta (yeah . . . that Panetta) has been launched to right this wrong and restore Santa Clara to the proper genetic sequencing of its DNA – its rightful initials.
Jesus is seldom wrong
To make sure you never decide to pursue the devil’s path of a USC football career, I am offering you, Jonathan, your very own email address on the bedard.com domain. If you agree that you will never, ever play for the University of Spoiled Children, you can be thunder@bedard.com for as long as I’m running bedard.com. Think about it, you can impress your friends with your email address when you attend UCSD (my alma mater), Stanford, Cal, or UC anywhere (Merced, Irvine, Riverside – I’d even accept UCLA).
I’d push you towards Santa Clara, but they don’t play football anymore – though we are known as Steve Nash’s alma mater and for the great men and women’s soccer program. Your father can explain it to you, but it’s where Kiera Knightly and Parminder Nagra get recruited to go play in Bend it Like Beckham. With your leg, anything is possible!
Is it a deal? Let me know via the comments and I’ll get back to you with the details. I hope you choose wisely! Life’s too short to go to the University of Southern California.
Your uncle,
Pierre Bedard UC San Diego BA ’79, University of Santa Clara MBA ’89, JD ’09
